haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This baby is an asshole
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
