elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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