dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
