Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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