is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
