I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
