Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
