I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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