I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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