I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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