I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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