Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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