DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
