Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
