Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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