You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
