Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
