I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
