I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
