Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
