whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
