Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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