wat bout pragnant strippers??
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
