At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
