I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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