Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
