You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
