God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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