butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
