I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
