FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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