careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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