so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I could fuck to npr.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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