I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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