I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
