I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
