New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
