yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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