i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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