i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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