Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
