Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
