Girls should come with a carfax report
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
