I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
