guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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