I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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