all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
