I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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