I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
vagina is talking i cant
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
