So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
