I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
