you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
