I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
