i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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