Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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