So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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