He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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