Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She's like a pop up book from hell.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
