Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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